You’re allowed to take up space
Desire isn’t shameful. Success isn’t selfish. Here’s how to claim your place boldly, consistently, and in a way that aligns with how you’re wired to grow.
Hi,
It’s okay to want attention. It’s okay to be successful. It’s okay to want fandom. It’s okay to want a seven figure company. It’s okay. If you don’t believe that, then lie to yourself until you do.
Sometimes you have to trick yourself into liking yourself before you actually like yourself. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true.
If you tell yourself you’re bad, you will start to believe you are bad…
…but it works the other way, too.
If you tell yourself you are good, and the things you are doing are good, and you surround yourself with positivity and people that push you forward, then your whole mindset will change.
This isn’t about living in a bubble. It’s about refusing to let yourself talk to yourself negatively. If you wouldn’t let someone talk to your friend that way, you can’t let yourself talk about you that way, either. If you say something negative to yourself, I want you to say, “Don’t talk that way about my friend.”
One of the big problems with success is that whether you’re going to fail or succeed looks exactly the same in the middle.
You are good. You are valuable. You deserve to be here. Even if you don’t believe that yet, you have to at least say it. You have to say it to yourself all day, every day. Every time something negative comes up, put something positive in its place.
The beautiful thing is that when you stop letting yourself talk negatively to yourself, you’ll stop letting other people talk to you negatively too. Your standards for how you should be treated, both by yourself and others, will rise.
How can you do that in practical and concrete terms?
Own your desires without apology. Wanting attention is not a moral failing. Wanting success, money, fandom, recognition, and love is not a betrayal of your values. Pretending you don’t want it won’t protect you. It just makes it harder to get what you actually want. Say it clearly: I want to be seen. Say it without shrinking. You don’t owe anyone a justification. Wanting more is not the problem. Shame about wanting more is. If you’re going to do this work, you have to let yourself want what you want — and say it out loud.
Build a body of work you’re proud of. There is no substitute for liking what you make. You can’t take up space if you secretly hope nobody sees the thing you made. If you wouldn’t brag about your own work, that’s the first problem to solve. Stop making things to please gatekeepers you don’t respect. Stop building brands you wouldn’t follow. Make the thing you want to stand next to. Then stand tall next to it.
Speak like someone who deserves to be heard. This doesn’t mean you always have the answers. It means you trust your voice, even when it shakes. It means you don’t pre-apologize, over-explain, or shrink to make others comfortable. Replace “I was just wondering…” with “Here’s what I think.” Replace “Maybe this is a bad idea, but…” with “I have a proposal.” Speak clearly. Speak concisely. Speak like your words matter…because they do.
Protect your attention like it’s precious (because it is). You can’t take up space if your mind is constantly splintered into a thousand reactive pieces. Being loud doesn’t matter if you’re lost in everyone else’s noise. If your voice is always in response to someone else’s opinion, then it’s not your voice anymore. Take back your attention. Delete the apps. Turn off notifications. Spend time in silence. Make space in your own brain for your ideas to breathe. The world can wait.
Raise your standards for how you’re treated. When you believe in your worth, your tolerance for mistreatment drops. You stop laughing at jokes that make you small. You stop collaborating with people who undermine you. You stop settling for scraps. This starts with how you talk to you. If you wouldn’t let someone treat your best friend that way, don’t let your own thoughts get away with it either. The more you practice self-respect, the more obvious it becomes when someone else doesn’t meet the bar.
Don’t disappear just because you’re not finished yet. You don’t have to be done to be visible. You don’t have to be perfect to be proud. You don’t have to wait until you’ve “earned it” to step into the light. Most people disappear when it’s messy, in-progress, unclear, or uncertain, but that’s exact moment they need to stay visible.. Show up anyway. That’s how people find you.
The world will always be more comfortable when you shrink, but shrinking rarely makes anything better in the long run. It doesn’t keep you safe. So this is your permission slip to take up space proudly, consistently, and deliberately. You don’t owe the world your silence. You owe it your voice
This isn’t just feel-good advice. Every successful entrepreneur I know has had to learn this, because the path is too hard, the journey too long, to survive without building this foundation of self-belief.
The path is challenging enough without being your own worst enemy. Build yourself up. Protect your creative spirit. Trust in your journey. The rest will follow.
You might be asking “How does this look for my SCALE path, tho?” It’s a good question, and will present differently for each one.
Spotlighter: Take up space by building depth. You don’t need to be loud, but you do need to show up. Spotlighters earn their space through creating a deep body of work, a clear throughline, and a voice that gets sharper the longer you sit with it. Your magic is consistency over time, not explosive virality. So stop hiding your work until it’s “ready.” Start putting a stake in the ground. Share your big idea, again and again, until it can’t be ignored. You don’t take up space by talking over others. You do it by becoming undeniable.
Collaborator: Take up space by co-creating in public. Your power multiplies in connection. You rise by creating with others, not just for them. That means inviting people in, building with them and celebrating wins together. You don’t have to be the loudest in the room, but you do have to show up with a posse. When you’re visible together, your whole ecosystem grows. Taking up space doesn’t have to feel self-centered. For you, it should feel like shared momentum.
Arbiter: take up space by seizing the moment. Arbiters thrive on timing. They spot what’s heating up and strike before anyone else knows what’s happening. Their authority isn’t slow-built, it’s engineered. They hack credibility through sharp packaging, fast delivery, and impeccable timing. That’s how they jump the line and claim attention. After they do it enough times in a row, people start to assume they belong there. Their power comes from recognizing the inflection point early, then hitting it hard, fast, and with a message that sticks.
Launcher: take up space by owning your moments. You thrive in high-energy situations. Your growth isn’t slow and steady. It comes in emotional, explosive bursts throughout the year. Taking up space as a Launcher means letting yourself build energy publicly. Name your goal, rally your people and make it feel like something special is happening, because it is. Don’t pretend you’re chill when you’re not. You don’t have to water down your intensity to be palatable. Show the full arc. Invite others along for the ride. Launchers take up space by being the event, unapologetically.
Evangelist: take up space by empowering others. This might seem counter-intuitive, but since Evangelists grow by contagion, making it easy for others to connect with you is the best way for them to spread your message. You take up space for yourself by making space for others. You make people feel seen, and when people feel seen, they move. Taking up space as an Evangelist isn’t about self-promotion, it’s about resonance. You show up with heart, clarity, and conviction so others can believe in themselves, too. That doesn’t mean staying quiet or playing small. It means using your visibility to lift, activate, and mobilize your people.
Everything I’ve shared here comes from twenty years of creating, failing, succeeding, and figuring it out along the way. Some days I still struggle. Some days I still doubt. But I’ve learned that productivity isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing better.
The hard thing about hard things is that they’re hard. That’s their defining characteristic.
You can’t create, build a business, or have success if it’s not hard, but we can do hard things as long as we know they’re not supposed to be easy.
Start by understanding where you are in your journey. Learn the fundamentals. Discover your voice. Build your foundation. Then scale what works. Don’t try to rush the process. Each phase teaches you something essential.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way. Your body might fight you. Your mind might doubt you. But you have the power to push through, to build systems that work for you, to create success on your own terms.
