Post like you mean it, or don’t bother
Stop punishing yourself for using a social media that has no reasonable expectation of working
Hi,
When it comes to social media, you basically have two viable choices.
At least one social media platform is central to your growth strategy. Maybe it’s Tiktok or Notes or Insta. I don’t really care, but if that is true, then you should do the things that platforms like to grow on it. Otherwise, you’ll never get traction and drive yourself bonkers. This almost always means swallowing your pride and doing things you don’t want to do in order to appease the algorithm.
You DNGAF about growth on any social media platform. You can still use that platform, but you don’t rely on it for growth. If that is true, then you cannot beat yourself up when you don’t grow on that platform by using it in a way that it doesn’t reward.
I don’t care which you choose, but too many of you are doing things that have no logical or reasonable expectation to work and then beating yourself up when they don’t work.
Doing things that shouldn’t work and then being confused and angry when they don’t work is ridiculous, right? Surely, you can see that.
You can’t half-heartedly post the kind of content that doesn’t get algorithmically rewarded and then feel like a failure when you don’t go viral. You can’t ignore the algorithm’s preferences and then wonder why the algorithm ignores you back.
The algorithm doesn’t care about your artistic integrity. It doesn’t care that you’re a serious literary novelist who shouldn’t have to dance with a book in your hand. It doesn’t care that you find the whole performance exhausting and slightly undignified.
If you’re not willing to do those things, you’ll never get traction. You’ll spin your wheels, waste your time, and drive yourself absolutely bonkers wondering why everyone else is growing while you’re stuck at 247 followers, half of whom are bots.
You’re essentially walking into a basketball game, insisting on playing tennis, and then feeling terrible about yourself when you don’t score any points. The problem isn’t your tennis skills. The problem is you’re on a basketball court, holding a racket, while everyone else is dribbling.
The cognitive dissonance is costing you. Not just in wasted time and effort, but in the slow erosion of your confidence. Every underwhelming post becomes another data point in a narrative that tells you you’re not good enough, not interesting enough, not doing enough.
You can change your mind at any time and as many times as you want, but you have to make the choice.
You can decide TikTok is your main platform for Q1, realize you hate it by March, and shift to focusing on your email list instead. You can go hard on Instagram for your book launch and then go dark for six months. You can make completely different decisions on every platform you use.
You can be all-in on LinkedIn while treating Twitter like a joke. You can pour energy into Substack while using Instagram purely for fun. You can commit to YouTube as your primary marketing channel while maintaining a minimal, low-effort presence everywhere else.
None of this is permanent. None of it is a referendum on your worth as an entrepreneur or a human being…
…but if you’re going to use a platform for growth, use it in the way that’s designed to get the most attention.
Or don’t bother. That’s a valid choice, and frankly one you should be making most of the time.
The key is being honest with yourself about what you’re doing and why. Not what you think you should be doing. Not what others are doing. What you are actually doing and what you’re realistically willing to do.
Ideally, you’d find a platform that rewards you for posting in the way you actually want to post.
Some love making short, snappy videos and thrive on TikTok. Some excel at visual storytelling and Instagram becomes their playground. Some are natural essayists who build devoted audiences on Substack.
That’s the dream scenario, but even that doesn’t mean it will stay that way forever.
Notes used to be that dream for me, and now it’s my nightmare. Same with Facebook a decade ago. Algorithms change…and your opinions about them can change, too.
What you absolutely shouldn’t do is expect a platform to work differently than it’s designed to work. You shouldn’t expect it to reward things it’s not built to reward.
Instagram isn’t going to suddenly start prioritizing long-form text posts. TikTok isn’t going to boost your videos if you’re not using trending sounds and posting frequently. LinkedIn isn’t going to make your fiction excerpt go viral. Twitter isn’t going to reward nuanced, thoughtful discourse in an environment optimized for hot takes and dunks.
Fighting against platform mechanics does nothing but punish yourself.
And that’s dumb. I say this with love, but it’s dumb.
So here is permission, in writing, from someone who’s spent an unreasonable amount of time thinking about platform strategy.
Cut yourself some slack.
If you’ve decided social media growth matters to your career, commit to doing it right. Study what works on your chosen platform. Adapt your content to fit what gets rewarded. Experiment with different formats and posting schedules. Give yourself a real chance at success by playing the game that exists, not the game you wish existed.
Be strategic. Be intentional. Be willing to feel slightly ridiculous sometimes, because growth on social media often requires a willingness to feel slightly ridiculous.
But if you’ve decided social media doesn’t matter, at least not right now, then stop measuring yourself against social media metrics.
Stop feeling guilty about your follower count. Stop comparing yourself to others who’ve gone viral. Stop treating every post like it needs to be a marketing masterpiece that converts casual scrollers into devoted customers who’ll buy everything you ever make.
Just stop.
You’re allowed to opt out. You’re allowed to opt in. You’re allowed to change your mind tomorrow, next month, or whenever the platform landscape shifts again (which it will, probably before you finish reading this).
What you’re not allowed to do is to keep being mean to my friend, which in this case is you.
You’re not failing. You’re just playing tennis on a basketball court while the referee looks on in confusion.
Pick a court. Any court. Commit to learning the rules and playing to win. Or walk away entirely and invest your energy elsewhere.
Both choices are valid. Both can lead to successful careers.
For the love of your mental health, your creative energy, and your finite time on this earth, stop punishing yourself for not winning a game you never actually entered.
The algorithm doesn’t care about your ambivalence. It’s not going to meet you halfway. It’s not impressed by your suffering or moved by your reluctance.
So either play the game with full commitment, or fold your hand and walk away from the table.
Either way, you’ll be fine, but this middle ground you’re occupying? It’s not neutral territory. It’s enemy territory.
Get out while you still can.
So, honestly, Are you trying to grow on social media right now, or just hoping it happens while avoiding what actually works?
Let me know in the comments.
